Dry Spell

I realize it has been several weeks since I've posted anything. I'm not regretting this because I think my fans need it (hey Mom) but because blogging is a form of journaling in a narcissistic way. 

Any who, what ever the reason, I've finally found a moment to sit at the table in the dark listening to the pitter patter of the rain creating a dull white noise around me. I'm actually working on a remote session and have been since 4:30 but I'm currently running a query that takes about 15 min. each time so I have the opportunity to put my thoughts in the blog during those increments of waiting time.

I went to bed at 9:30 last night so when E woke up at 4:30 to use the master bath I could not go back to sleep. Either it was because I was worried about stuff or because there was now a tiny human creature sleeping soundly between my husband and I. She fell back asleep really fast. I last heard her singing, "Thursday, Friday, Saturday..., these are the days of the week." Then silence. Then I put on a pot of coffee.

Work has been a nightmare. There is too much work to do. Our small company is now completely dependent on reports, software tools and solutions, and business knowledge from the IT department. There was a time that all the items mentioned above were non-existent and some people found a way to keep business moving by being resourceful. Our software Development task/project list looks like we will stay busy for the next year if everything stays the same but it won't. That list grows everyday. It's overwhelming and it makes the developers look incompetent because regardless of the task everything was due yesterday so we obviously did not meet our deadlines.

On the lighter side of things, Christmas was wonderful at our place. I didn't work a lick and I cooked and cleaned and entertained the whole day. Wow, putting that in words looks like work. It didn't feel that way though. We spent every moment together. Sang songs, played the piano, watched movies, opened gifts, ate lunch/dinner, crafted... it was a very good day.

I very much looking forward to the New Year. I hope to set a few goals and try to reach them. I wanted to pay off student loans in 2013. We paid down half and we bought a house so I'd say that was pretty close. I'm thinking we'll finish them off this year and do something else spectacular. I'm not sure what that is yet but it should be great!

Toning Down the Dream

I've heard through the grave vine that I need to be careful of who I tell about the studio dream I have. I've heard that some people won't be as supportive as others and that it can be perceived as a threat or competition.

It's a dream people for Pete's Sake. Support people you care about! If you don't understand it then ask questions, don't gossip. I probably shouldn't write about it either but I'm very passionate about my hobby and I know WE can do great things in a crafting studio. "WE" meaning: my kids, my friends, my family, my co-workers, my community and me. Last last week I looked at a tiny store and thought, "I can do this" shortly afterward I heard the gossip. Now I don't feel like escaping average and being awesome like Jon Acuff says. I feel like curling up and forgetting about the whole thing. I keep telling myself that it was a stupid idea and it will never happen. How can one tiny event kill a whole  dream. I'm really concerned that people are talking and stirring things up that aren't there so I've toned it down. Actually, I've shut it down and I don't feel good about it anymore.Yuck. 

What I'm trying to do here is purge the bad taste in my mouth so that I can move on with my dream. If I don't throw my wonderful dream their face then they don't have to feel that its a threat. This is a lesson learned. Sharing is not always caring and that's unfortunate.

Oh Dear, Standing Up to the Boss Isn't Good. Is It?

Yesterday, during our standard 9:00 project meeting, for one project... the one that won't end, my boss calls in and tells us to gear up for Version 2 of the site we've just spent the last 4 straight months on, balls-to-the-wall style. He also mentioned that we cannot loose site of our other clients and pending projects but V2 is important to get started on ASAP because it is a political play. I could feel the disappoint throughout the room among the development team members and so I pipe up as the head of the team to speak my mind. But before I get into what I said I should tell you how lately I've been striped of any "management" functions because it has been clear that I am needed to wear my programmers hat 100% of the day for the last 2 months. With that said I really don't know where I stand since this project has buried us politically and emotionally. The real issue is that when the client said they wanted a website, no one in the development dept. had the opportunity to determine the delivery date. The client SAID they wanted it by 8/1/2013. The Development Team did not get the first draft of requirements until 7/19/2013. No one pushed back for us.

I proceed to tell my boss that we are tired. Back to back projects are not good for moral and we haven't had a chance to breathe lately. The other departments are afraid to speak to us because they don't know when and how their development tasks that fall into the category of internal support will be completed.  They are torn between understanding and resentment. Things are awkward and our team is getting used for political plays now. What we've achieved in the last 4 months is nothing short of a miracle but we have to skip the celebration of completion and jump right in again. 

I am totally paraphrasing what I said because when you impulsively whine to your boss, things get cloudy. He responded with empathy and the meeting ended shortly after that. The Software Development Manager thanked me for speaking up for the group since that was what everyone was thinking. I told him it was no biggie and that if I lose my job that he could have my tiny sweat shop desk in the corner of my (or what used to be) my office that I now share it with  3 other people.

Making Excuses

I keep making excuses for sleeping in like, I'm stressed so I need another hour of sleep. It's the Holiday's so I'm off schedule. Well I'm wondering when I'll get back on schedule. Not today of course. Blogging right now is bleeding into my "get ready" time. Have I lost my drive for blogging or am I just over stressed for real?

Workshop Number One Was a Doozey

One of the ladies from my church asked me to host a workshop at church from 6:30 - 8:30 last night. I brought some craft wire and glass beads a few sets of tools and stack of surveys freshly printed. About 30 people showed up which was what we expected but not what I'd hoped. Teaching 30 people at once without adequate tools was no easy task especially for my FIRST workshop. 

I honestly wanted the craft to only take up 30 minutes but the instruction went for about an hour. The goal was to make easy wire wrapped rings around a glass bead. The last hour was me finishing up the rings. Making them a little bit bigger or smaller. Tightening up the wrapping or cleaning up the shape of the rings in general if they were a little wonky. I also encouraged the ladies to do more than one if they were comfortable be I knew that practice would serve them well and because thankfully I chose to cut the wire the night before (a lot of wire). Some of them made 3 rings and couldn't wait to show me. It was so cute.

Clean up only took a few minutes and I was driving home by 8:40 with my stack of surveys filled out and my heart full of cheer. I had such a wonderful time sharing what I love to do with others. So many women thanked my profusely for teaching them a new skill and getting them all together. I didn't have any part in getting them together but I guess it wouldn't have happened if I had declined the opportunity to teach the class.

Most of the ladies chose the time slot of 6-9 pm as their preferred workshop time on the survey which fits into my cafe model. That is the only time I'll be available. In fact most people chose the $5-$10 price range on my survey for a similar workshop. I'm only revealing my marketing research because I know no one reads this. 

The Cafe will not be a classroom setting. It will be a hang out. The ladies I spoke to last night did not seem to understand the concept based on their comments of price and over all feedback. This makes me secretly happy. The Cafe is a NEW concept to our area! One lady thought the price of the workshop should depend on the size of the bead. My workshop will be the same price no matter what for learning and consulting with others on any/all crafts. You can apply that craft to any project later and use what ever bead you want. Another lady put on the survey. "I had so much fun. ...I would pay for a night of guidance."

The concept is to get out and do the craft with others. 

To gain confidence and learn new techniques. 

To see what others have done wrong to avoid a lot of trial and error. 

To have fun! 

To finish!

Which is what we did.

The Van's Got To Go

A few months ago we replaced a relay for the fan in the van because it was over heating. Then we bought tires, then we bought brakes and rotors and now the van is over heating again. I actually cried a little in the car on the way home because I just couldn't deal with the van too. 

I have car envy when I drive past used car lots and I see anything priced under 5k. I just want to spontaneously drive the van in there, park it for ever and leave with something else. Honestly, we only use the 6th seat a couple of times a year which is the only reason we have it. Somebody talk me out of this. Tell me it all will be OK and that we should stick it out with the van for another year because we want to throw as much as we can at the mortgage in 2014. Tell me it can be fixed easily and that it really is the best vehicle for us because I'm not convinced.

Scratched Cornea & Work

I woke up on Sunday with a burning sensation in my eye so yesterday, during lunch, I ran into an eye center that happens to be my moms eye doctor that happens to be in the parking lot of my office. The Doc says I have a scratch right in the front of my cornea and he said it should start to feel better in a few days and prescribed gel drops. I literally was coding the final touches on the quoting application with one eye before our 4:00 release. 

The drops are smooth. I can't even tell that a drop went in until my lashes feel wet. It does feel better today. At least I won't feel like I have to pull the van over when tears start welling up because my eye is sensitive to light on the way to work.

Thankfully, I'm almost through the 4th layer of Hell. We delivered the site yesterday to the client but several things came up at the last minute that we didn't disclose to the client or to the project manager or to anyone else. We will work on those items today and hopefully no one will run into them first. Once we are comfortable with the functionality of the new quoting tool then I will have to squeeze in a renewal tool before the end of the year for another client. We put this project off to finish this last project and we have another disgruntled client waiting in line. I'm about 75% finished with the beta release so I'm not too concerned about it but it is back to back projects and no vacation time used. Blah. I'll take off in January I guess.

Delivery Day

Thanksgiving went by without a hitch and now it's back to the grind. I heard this strange noise this morning coming from the dining room table and finally realized it wasn't a sponsored gift floating my way in the Hunger Games arena *bing, bing, bing*. It was my alarm and reality engulfed me as I came to. It is Monday, Dec. 2nd. Delivery Day.

Today is the day our Development Team had to complete the application for the General Liability quoting tool. Websites and software can never be deemed complete but they can have the appearance of completion. Which is what we've done I believe. We will comb over the site one last time this morning together and blow away all the test data by 4:00PM then deliver passwords for agents to get in. Training is not part of the deal but our team will be "on call" when there is an issue. We will take shifts for the next week or so.

Wish me luck! And by the way, if you haven't seen either of the Hunger Games or read the books, then I highly recommend either option. We saw the second movie Catching Fire on Thanksgiving and it was so good, so good, so good.